I've loved you from the first time I saw you. I think I was twelve. It took me three years to pluck up the courage to speak to you. And I was so scared the way I felt, you know, loving a girl. So I learned how to become a sarcastic bitch to kind of feel normal. I screwed guys to make it go away but it didin't work. Because you were the one person who could ruin my life. I pushed you away. I made you think things were your fault. But really I was just terrified of pain. I screwed that girl, Sophia, to kind of spite you for having that hold on me and i'm a total fucking coward because I got these tickets for Goa for us three months ago. But I couldn't stand. I didn't want to be a slave to the way I feel about you, can you understand? Trying to punish me back and that's horrible. It's so horrible because really... I'd die for you. I love you. I love so much and it's killing me.

Skins